18 Jan 2017by catcares

Sticking To Your Standards

I know everyone has been through breakups but this one is specifically for my ladies who have faced heartbreak or are fighting it now and keep trying to find a reason to let him back in.

I’ve had too many women cry on my shoulder. I’ve cried on far too many others.

I spent the last six months in physical solitude and plan to continue to because it turns out I actually love just being with me. Hence, my “in the relationship” status on FB and I encourage that for so many of you hurting because it’s truly how you recover any breakup. You need ALONE time. Not I have this friend time. But ALONE time!

God simply can’t reach you if you rush off to put your heart in someone else’s hands after tearing away from someone you once were involved with. (I’ll save the intimacy talk for another day).

We allow ourselves to run back to people we “love” and ignore the fact they hurt us over and over again.
Each time we stay it gets harder to walk away. Each time the soulties become that much stronger and the bonds are that much harder to break.

Breakups are hard for anyone but I can certainly attest to the people who come from broken homes it’s even harder for us, because we rely on our conscience and experience to tell us wrong from right. Unfortunately much of that is made up in our own head or found in “How To” sections at bookstores.

You have to train yourself to behave differently than you are used to. You wouldn’t believe the measures it took for me to convince myself to walk away from seven years of habitual chaos. I’m talking every 30 minute reminders not to talk to him. Notes that auto emailed to remind me why I needed to stay angry. And of course prayer almost every second of the day for the last year certainly opened my eyes and heart to the reality of how much toxin I had been surrounded by for so long.

I might sound crazy but it worked.
I’m happy to tell you one thing I do know about myself now is I will literally do whatever it takes to get myself to a better place!

I went without financial stability, physical comfort, emotional support, even allowed myself to be completely miserable in my own thoughts until God renewed my mind and spirit to seek only him.

Sometimes it’s just what you have to do to teach yourself how much greatness you truly deserve.
No matter how hard it is or alone you might feel, don’t cave.
Don’t accept less than you deserve.
You deserve to be his ONLY woman. You deserve to be with someone who won’t abuse you in any fashion.
No Excuse! No Exception!
STOP ALL THIS FWB crap! Quit bragging about being his Main Chick! You were not born to be someone’s baby mama! And if you are then be the mother of your child and not the side piece of your donor!

We the people with our ridiculous emotional “needs” and sexual desires are killing what God created LOVE to be!!
Who cares what society allows as the norm now?! Don’t bow down to rules you don’t agree with!
No matter how “good” he is to you, regardless what he provides for you, who cares how awesome of a dad he might be?!
If he can’t commit to you and be true to you then he isn’t good for you! And he won’t teach your child the importance of commitment either!

Those that have mustered up the courage to walk away just know, you’re not alone in how you feel. And you won’t be alone forever. God rewards obedience. Given that your body is a temple it is OBEDIENT to demand respect for yourself!

At times it seems like others could get away with murder and yet you’re feeling punished for doing what seems like the right thing. This is so far from the truth!
Don’t let the devil convince you to compromise.
You know why you have the standards you do. You know why you walked away or won’t let someone back around.
Do. Not. Give. In.
God is going to bless you with someone so much better.
I’m thankful for learning such a hard lesson as young as I did.

Even if I’m married with children someday, God forbid anything bad happen, but the minute it could- I won’t fear financial instability. I won’t question my comfort. I won’t look around for ways to cover up the mess my partner made. I won’t lie to myself! I vow to myself now and forever to stand up and walk out that door. He can take his issues up with God.
Because Jesus is the only man I will ever NEED! Anyone else will knowto earn and maintain their place in my heart!

Let this empower you to use the strength and courage already within you and get the love and respect you deserve. Be blessed.

Copyright © 2016 Silence Unchained. All rights reserved

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One thought on “Sticking To Your Standards

  • KishiaK

    Great read! I’m actually dealing and going through myself. It does get lonesome challenging and confusing at times but I’m reminded by God’s word and all of the things he’s promised me from MAN that MAN he’s has created just for me

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